Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
