he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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