You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
