Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Come back. Shots need mouths.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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