I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I need a beard to bite.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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