I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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