I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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