If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
