I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
