So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
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