I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
