it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
