Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
A+ Viking dick
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
