why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
