Your mouth is God's brothel.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
