It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
