a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
