i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
