you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
