found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
