you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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