final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
