Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
