Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
