I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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