She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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