the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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