STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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