went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
