Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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