I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Randomize
