i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
