So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Randomize
