You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
