'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
