google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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