I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Damn victory sex feels great
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
