Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Green mimosas i think yes
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Randomize
