Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
