I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
