Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
