Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
