Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Im just a social blackout drinker.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
