Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
