I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
