If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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