I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
