I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
My cat gives me a boner
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
you didnt know i had herpes?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
two words...techno handjob
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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