I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Randomize
