At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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