More tranny stories later!
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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